It’s All Alright

Parenting is full of crazy days, ups, downs and arounds. I was sitting here thinking about all the cool things about the ages my kids are right now. I remember wishing away hours when they were three under three, waiting for them to be more mobile and a bit more self-sufficient so I could begin the time when I got to grow up with them again. While I was having these warm fuzzy thoughts, I realized that my seven year old was throwing a fit and howling in the other room. 

One of the finest moments the other day was explaining to my oldest daughter why her name is Anthem. After a couple of months at the end of school, she came home a bit upset and told dad that kids were calling her the National Anthem. The other night, we listed to the Good Charlotte song that she is named after and had a really awesome discussion about the song. It talks about not being like everyone else and being free to be yourself. Her eyes lit up and it was like seeing my ‘dream’ when I knew that was what I would name her, in real motion. 

It was a rough day in parenting and when we dropped our kids off at my parents to go to listen to a band, I was still mentally kicking myself for it. While doing so, I realized that out of anyone that observes, I am my own toughest critic. I find myself playing and replaying events and criticizing all of my thoughts, motives, intents and actions. I nitpick MYSELF. As we walked into the venue, we ran into some friends. One of which immediately commended me for a strategic consequence given to my son after a series of offenses. Their praise for creative correction made me realize that I was being way too hard on myself. 

As I sat there, I thought about my decision to use different consequences to suit the crime, because traditional consequences didn’t seem to be getting the message across. I was still kind of in a funk when they started singing about love. Love. I love my kids. I love them enough to try harder and to try differently when things aren’t working. I love my kids enough to have consequences now so that later we don’t have to work so hard to re-establish respect that wasn’t taught early. It’s my everyday work that makes them a pleasure at other peoples’ houses or at events when I am so surprised that they behave so well. 

And guess what? They love me too. They were excited to see us when we went to pick them up. My parents were happy to report that they were really good while they were there. When we are embroiled in the circumstances, it’s hard to see the outcome clearly. Tomorrow is another day and I bet that we won’t have half the battle and we will have a better respect for each other as well. And in the end, I think we will all be alright.